Worldwide, there’s a huge stigma that women should have their shit together by the age of 30. Career in place, white picket fence, prince charming, little minions running around, and oh yeah don’t forget about Lucky, the beloved family dog!
The 20’s are the learning years. It’s like we have training wheels on and we’re just learning to navigate through life as adults. There are stages to our 20’s and each one of us experiences it differently.
- In University we change our major at least twice because we haven’t really decided what we want to do when we grow up.
- We question everything and everyone, including ourselves.
- We date people who are totally incompatible with us because we don’t even know ourselves.
- We get wrapped up in odd jobs that lead us to being unhappy because society makes us think that we need to have our shit figured out by the time we are 30.
- We also take on more than we need to because we are set on impressing society.
- We party too much, we hook up with strangers and we probably end up in some situations that our parents will never hear about.
Our 20’s are where you kind-of-sort-of have a get out of jail free card to make mistakes and people probably won’t hold them against you because “we are just growing up.”
For other people though, they live their 20’s quite differently. Your probably know a few. These are the people who have it all figured out quite early on. They know how they want their life, what they want to study, and who they want to be with.
Midway through my 20’s my life was a legitimate shit-show, & I had given up on a lot of things, but I persevered, and because of that I ventured on a journey of self love and acknowledgement that has had a huge impact on everything I’ve become today.
No Such thing as a life manual
Unfortunately life doesn’t come with a manual. There are no instructions on how to do things in life, how to live your teens, 20’s or even 30’s. We as society make this shit up and then beat ourselves up about it because we think we don’t live up to the standards strangers have set for us.
For decades our 30’s have been categorized into the years in which we need to have our lives together in order to be considered as acceptable by society standards. Turning 30 is one of those things in which everyone has different opinions or feelings about. Some people start to freak out, some people (myself included), get overly excited. Across cultures, once we start reaching 30, our families start to pester us about settling down, finding the right jobs, saving money, buying a house, having kids, or working out because our metabolism slows down and much more.
Happiness & Success are both a matter of perspective. Your perspective is different than everyone else’s.
For me, having a job that makes me a lot of money doesn’t mean I’m successful, nor will the money make me happy. Happiness is within you, it cannot be bought and it cannot be brought by anyone else, except yourself.
It’s also okay to be alone, than to settle down with someone who doesn’t share any of the same values or goals that you do. & While on this topic, understand that being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, you’re just taking sometime for yourself. Taking this time for YOU is necessary.
Once you accept and love yourself, your view for love, happiness and relationships change; and if you surround yourself with good people, love, happiness and positivity, you’ll see how great life can be living outside of those ugly standards society sets for us.
Live your experiences to the fullest potential.
My 20’s were filled with endless adventures. I’ve been marching to the beat of my own drums for yeas & it feels amazing! I still haven’t settled, in fact, in 2015 at 28, I moved across the world to Kuwait, leaving everything I knew behind because I wanted a lifestyle change and I was bored of Miami.
The move hasn’t always been easy because I miss a lot of things, but moving across the world opened my mind even more and it’s made me really think about what’s valuable in life.
“When are you settling down” happens more often than it should. If I’m not worried about it, you probably shouldn’t be either. That’s a lot of energy spent on someone else when you should be investing it in yourselves.
Travel if you want to, be single if you want to, be free to make the choices that lead to your happiness. There are no set rules to life.
Do your own shit, invest your energy wisely, and be happy.
I’ll be 30, on the 30th day of the 3rd month of the year. It’s also safe to say, I’ve been planning my 30th birthday for a while.
- First of all, having mama bear next to me was mandatory, as was traveling to somewhere new. So I worked my ass off and bought her a plane ticket to meet me in Europe.
- Having close family members and friends to sip champagne with was also a top priority.
It is okay to live outside the standards society has made up. It’s okay to be 30, single, & live a not-so-traditional life.
Embrace the journey,
Learn from it, grow from it.
You only get one shot at life, but if you live it right, once is enough.
I’m proud of you.